Why We’re In Praxis (Well, Some of Us)

Even in Praxis, we rarely talk about depression, a death of vitality, and more. We’re all mad, really. Each and every one of us is missing something so fundamental to our identity that we rise above everyone else in a neverending desperate search for the thing that might give us the fulfillment we crave. Our desire to fill our emptiness is greater than anyone else’s, so we make up the top. We’re future world leaders because we are so lost and confused that we just keep climbing the ladder, hoping the next peg is what we’re looking for. We’re future world changers because we are so dissatisfied that the only possible option our minds can conceive is “taking action.” Our intellect just breeds loneliness and depression and sometimes we even catch ourselves “wishing we were like everyone else,” but at the same time, we would die before we let that happen, because our intellect and drive is also our only hope of finding the treasure. We find programs like this and convince ourselves that the inclusion we get satiates the unending hunger we have for more. But even with the identity that comes from the illusion of community, we still have the same underlying mask that we’ve had since birth. Every interaction is staged at least one percent, no matter how genuine. The inclusion we get can fulfill what we wish we had, because for once in our lives, we pretend we are understood. But each of us must, at some point, look in the mirror and face ourselves if we ever hope to feed the monster than causes us to rise above every other. Its painful lack of fulfillment doesn’t end when we “change the world” enough, or when we do enough spectacular things. It ends when we relentlessly dig into our minds and attain the ability to find fulfillment in nothing but ourselves.