I’ve realized I do not care about having a ton of money, glamor, praise from the masses, or traditionally defined success. 

The only significant things I want are an immense amount of self-esteem, travel, music, one close friendship, a spectacular romantic relationship, the ability to have meaningful conversations, and to raise children that think for themselves. That’s it. 

Pretty simple, huh? I don’t think I’m exaggerating. If I lived in a tent in the woods but had these things, I’d be satisfied.

This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy other experiences. I love making videos, taking photos, eating fine foods, doing successful things, and more. These things aren’t going away and I’m not scheming to elope and move to a woodland cabin.

But having these desires defined is helpful for my happiness and fulfillment, because when things don’t go right with more trivial matters, I bring attention to my superior importances. 

If I have even some of them, all anxiety evaporates. This works because I’ve defined what I want. It’s a conscious process to say, “I am broke and nobody knows who I am. This causes me to feel discomfort but once I focus on my defined desires and see that I have many of them, the discomfort vanishes.” 

If I’m in a critical conversation and I start stumbling like a chimpanzee, my insecurity might eat me alive—if I didn’t have awareness of what I actually care about. Since I do, I’m less fearful about the outcome of the thing and can more easily correct course if I mess up.

In many ways, my life revolves around my central desires. When I funnel my energy into attaining them, I usually get them (and so will anyone who pushes most of their energy toward one thing). If I was scattered and tried to attain sixteen things at once, I’d likely get none of them. 

I would be constantly distressed if I didn’t know what I actually want. Every failure would equal internal terror. Luckily, I do know what I want; it’s relatively little so I can easily position myself to have it and as a result, I’m happy.