There’ll come a time this week when you’re sitting around with the fam, asking what to do. It can end with everyone in a Facebook trance, or you can do what I tell you and change their lives.

Nathan Branden was a kickbutt psychotherapist. He wrote good-ass books about self-esteem and created methods that made people feel better in every part of life.

One of his best things is sentence completion exercises.

You get a sentence stem and complete it aloud 5-10 times, saying the first thing that comes to mind. It blows my mind when I see the powerful information this extracts from people.

Here’s an example of a stem:

If I take more responsibility for my choices and actions today…

You read this sentence stem multiple times and complete it with the first instinctual response. It’s important to read the whole steam each time.

I personally stand by sentence completion’s power. It’s the most potent dose of self-awareness and motivation I’ve found.

Below is Branden’s 30-week program of sentence stems.

When you’re in the perfect moment with your family (long drives are perfect), bust these bad boys out. Pick an appropriate stem and hit your favorite sibling with it. You’ll love hearing them.

 

Week 1

If I bring more awareness to my life today…

If I take more responsibility for my choices and actions today…

If pay more attention to how I deal with people today…

If I boost my energy level by 5 percent today…

Week 2

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my important relationships…

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my insecurities…

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my deepest needs and wants…

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my emotions…

Week 3

If I treat listening as a creative act…

If I notice how people are affected by the quality of my listening…

If I bring more awareness to my dealings with people today…

If I commit to dealing with people fairly and benevolently…

Week 4

If I bring a higher level of self-esteem to my activities today…

If I bring a higher level of self-esteem to my dealings with people today…

If I am 5 percent more self-accepting today…

If I am self-accepting even when I make mistakes…

If I am self-accepting even when I feel confused and overwhelmed…

Week 5

If I am more accepting of my body…

If I deny and disown my body…

If I deny or disown my conflicts…

If I am more accepting of all the parts of me…

Week 6

If I wanted to raise my self-esteem today, I could…

If I am more accepting of my feelings…

If I deny and disown my feelings…

If I am more accepting of my thoughts…

If I deny and disown my thoughts…

Week 7

If I am more accepting of my fears…

If I deny and disown my fears…

If I were more accepting of my pain…

If I deny and disown my pain…

Week 8

If I am more accepting of my anger…

If I deny and disown my anger…

If I am more accepting of my sexuality…

If I deny and disown my sexuality…

Week 9

If I am more accepting of my excitement…

If I deny and disown my excitement…

If I am more accepting of my intelligence…

If I deny and disown my intelligence…

Week 10

Self-responsibility means…

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my life and well-being…

If I avoid responsibility for my life and well-being…

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the attainment of my goals…

If I avoid responsibility for the attainment of my goals…

Week 11

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the success of my relationships…

Sometimes I keep myself passive when I…

Sometimes I make myself helpless when I…

I am becoming aware…

Week 12

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living…

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions…

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness…

If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem…

Week 13

Self-assertiveness means…

If I lived 5 percent more assertively today…

If I treat my thoughts and feelings with respect today…

If I treat my wants with respect today…

Week 14

If, when I was young, someone had told me my wants really mattered…

If, when I was young, I had been taught to honor my own life…

If I treat my life as unimportant…

If I were willing to say yes when I want to say yes and no when I want to say no…

If I were willing to let people hear the music inside me…

If I were to express 5 percent more of who I am…

Week 15

Living purposefully to me means…

If I bring 5 percent more purposefulness into my life…

If I operate 5 percent more purposefully at work…

If I operate 5 percent more purposefully in my relationships…

If I operate 5 percent more purposefully in marriage…

Week 16

If I operate 5 percent more purposefully with my children…

If I were 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings…

If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants…

If I make my happiness a conscious goal…

Week 17

Integrity means…

If I look at instances in which I find full integrity difficult…

If I bring 5 percent more integrity into my life…

If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my work…

Week 18

If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my relationship…

If I remain loyal to the values I believe are right…

If I refuse to live by values I do not respect…

If I treat my self-respect as a high priority…

Week 19

If the child in me could speak, he/she would say…

If the teenager I once was still exists inside of me…

If my teenage self could speak, he/she would say…

At the thought of reaching back to help my child self…

At the thought of reaching back to help my teenage self…

If I could make friends with my younger selves…

Week 20

If my child self felt accepted by me…

If my teenage self felt I was on his/her side…

If my younger selves felt I had compassion for their struggles…

If I could hold my child self in my arms…

If I could hold my teenage self in my arms…

If I had the courage and compassion to embrace and love my younger selves…

Week 21

Sometimes my child self feels rejected by me when I…

Sometimes my teenage self feel rejected by me when I…

One of the things my child self needs from me and rarely gets…

One of the things my teenage self needs from me and has not received is…

One of the ways my child self gets back at me for rejecting him/her is…

One of the ways my teenage self gets back at me for rejecting him/her is…

Week 22

At the thought of giving my child self what he/she needs from me…

At the thought of giving my teenage self what he/she needs from me…

If my child self and I were to fall in love…

If my teenage self and I were to fall in love…

Week 23

If I accept that my child self may need time to learn to trust me…

If I accept that my teenage self may need time to learn to trust me…

As I come to understand that my child self and my teenage self are both part of me…

I am becoming aware…

Week 24

Sometimes when I am afraid, I…

Sometimes when I am hurt, I…

Sometimes when I am angry, I…

An effective way to handle fear might be to…

An effective way to handle hurt might be to…

An effective way to handle anger might be to…

Week 25

Sometimes when I am excited, I…

Sometimes when I am aroused sexually, I…

Sometimes when I experience strong feelings, I…

If I make friends with my excitement…

If I make friends with my sexuality…

As I grow more comfortable with the full range of my emotions…

Week 26

If I think about becoming better friends with my child self…

If I think about becoming better friends with my teenage self…

As my younger selves become more comfortable with me…

As I create a safe space for my child self…

As I create a safe space for my teenage self…

Week 27

Mother gave me a view of myself as…

Father gave me a view of myself as…

Mother speaks through my voice when I tell myself…

Father speaks through my voice when I tell myself…

Week 28

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my relationship with my mother…

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my relationship with my father…

If I look at my mother and father realistically…

If I reflect on the level of awareness I bring to my relationship with my mother…

If I reflect on the level of awareness I bring to my relationship with my father…

Week 29

At the thought of being free of Mother psychologically…

At the thought of being free of Father psychologically…

At the thought of belonging fully to myself…

If my life really does belong to me…

If I really am capable of independent survival…

Week 30

If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life…

If I am 5 percent more self-accepting…

If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life…

If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively…

If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully…

If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life…

If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like…